It's all make believe, isn't it?: Pointless || Ellie&James
ellie-buchanan:
headboy-jamespotter:
“Nothing? Oh yeah… nothing at all… because you’re Little Miss Perfect, aren’t you? With your perfect relationship and your perfect grades and your perfect attendance rate and your perfect punctuality… oh, wait, that got messed up today, as did everything else; you’re not innocent, Buchanan.” He didn’t speak them harshly, or even loudly, but they were merely honest, and cold, for what he was saying felt true to him.
“Its not perfect though, is it? Oh no, those grades aren’t perfect. That punctuality isn’t perfect… oh, and lets not even talk about what i’ve found out with you and Lorcan.” He scoffed as he shook his head, feeling his fists clench. “How could you?! How could you come to me, and tell me all of your feelings about it, and then just forgive him like that?! It was one thing, Buchanan, that I didn’t expect from you; for you to become putty in the hands of a man. I thought you had a bit of backbone… respected you for it and all, but no…” He glared over at her.
“You’re just like the rest of them, aren’t you? Don’t even care about your needs, or your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions… you just want a boy toy to cling onto to get you by, is that it? Think he’s perfect for you when he doesn’t treat you as an equal to him? I can’t even look at you the same…”
“I don’t know about you, but I have a right to be mad at you.”
There had been several possible reactions that had run through Ellie’s mind, as soon as her own words had left her mouth. James would surely either make some brash comment without thinking; would ignore her snappy outburst entirely; or would tell her to shut up. Every single one of those was a viable and deserving response to her childish and unnecessary low blows. Each one of those outcomes were such that Ellie could interpret, and deal with accordingly. She knew how to handle James; she had been doing as much for almost seven years. Dealing with a snarky James Potter had become skill she had honed to perfection. But Ellie had never imagined, ever given any thought to it, that James Potter would single-handedly, with a few choice statements, tear her apart at the seams; leaving nothing but a truly pathetic, and sad little girl, for all the world to see.
When the final words, as sharp as daggers, had been said; floating between the two of them, Ellie had stopped in her tracks, not moving an inch from her grounded position. A foreign wetness sprung at her eyes; hot tears pooling at her lids, her mouth quivering in desperation. She looked everywhere; at the stone floor, through the windows, at the talking portraits which were watching at them curiously. Anywhere but at the boy who had inflicted a gratuitous amount of emotional pain upon her, in a matter of minutes.
Perhaps his words were so painful, so very humiliating, because they in fact came from him. There had always been a distinct and defined level of respect and appreciation between Ellie and James; such were their feelings for one another, that no spat or silly argument could break that common, and mutual agreement. She had never intentionally attempted to impress him, nor did she pride herself openly on his opinion of her; but she knew that subconsciously, and in the depths of her mind and emotions, what James Potter said of her mattered much than it ever should have. Ellie’s one great fear in life was disappointing those around her; to be told she had done as such so harshly, had torn her down to her very core.
When the silence became almost intolerable, suffocating her into oblivion, and the tears had swiftly run down her cheeks, a shifting took place within Ellie. The deep-etched sorrow that had grounded itself into her, was being replaced by a bright, and glowing anger. A self-preservation technique of sorts; deflecting her own personal involvement and the truth of his words, by putting the blame on the messenger of a harsh epiphany Ellie had not wanted to experience.
With a few quick steps she was before him, and with a flash of pure anguish in her eyes, she slapped him; hard. She stood back, breathing heavily, staring back at him, furiously keeping any further tears from strolling down her face.
“Congratulations, James. You’ve helped me find me backbone.” She said, and turned away, walking as quickly as her feet would take her. She would not allow him to see her cry any more.
Of course, it’d be her who would be mad at him. It always was someone being mad at him, just like it was last time. He was blamed for something he never, ever denied, but for it to be said by her, of all people in this school, was a low blow that even he couldn’t handle properly. Before he could even fathom the thoughts in his head, a sting came to his face, and it took him a good few minutes to register what just happened in his mind, before it was too late for him to even fix it.
Part of him wanted to run up to her, grab her, and tell her everything, though it was too late for such things. The damage, in senses, had already been done, and there was nothing he could do about it, it seemed. He was still mad at her, of course; livid, in fact, but he was more mad at himself, for not accepting that she was obviously happy this way… and if she was happy, then why would she want someone like him in his life?
The guy who slept around.
With a sigh, he simply let her be, hearing her backbone comment which made him laugh some as he shook his head. Not found, Ellie… rather, taken. From me, that is. And it was true; she’d taken it with her before leaving. He felt… useless.
It was pointless.